What’s mine is yours


Before I start, I should clarify that the sole reason why I’m writing this post is to piss off the entire JYJ fandom, and that as a fervent JYJ anti, I live for nothing else apart from the sheer diabolical pleasure I get from writing articles on the internet bashing a band for which I harbor an unspeakable hatred. And also for the page views.


I’ve kept pretty mum thus far about this whole thing with the JYJ fandom declaring me Public Enemy #1 — for more than a year, I think — and honestly, there’s really no reason why I should be wasting my energy trying to “explain myself” to people with poor reading comprehension skills who have long since made a habit of only seeing what they want to see.

But real talk, guys — the main reason why I felt the need to write this is because there’s something severely wrong when members of my own fandom are trying to paint me as an anti of a group that I genuinely, genuinely love more than words can describe. There’s a fundamental misunderstanding here, and I’m entirely uncomfortable with having to live with the fact that JYJ fans believe that I have some sort of vendetta against JYJ, and that I spend ridiculous amounts of energy writing 2000-word long articles about JYJ because I hate them.

I mean, come on now. Does that even make any sense? You all said it yourself: why would someone who hates JYJ that much continue to write about them? Instead of trying to address that question in earnest and consider even the slightest possibility that I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A FAN OF JYJ who cares enough about what they do to spend considerable amounts of time thinking critically about them and writing about them, are y’all just going to conclude amongst yourselves that I’m some crazy person with nothing better to do than write hateful articles on JYJ?

I’m a very busy person, folks. I don’t have the time to write about stuff I don’t care about, and I certainly don’t have the energy to spew hate about a group that I’ve already made up my mind about.

The DBSK/JYJ fandom has been a rough ride for all the years I’ve been a DBSK fan. My DBSK fandom was at its peak right when they broke up, and I cried over these guys for months because of it. DBSK was that band that defined my teenage years, and they took me through hell and back. And as much as it hurt — and it hurt a lot — I stuck through it because I loved these guys that much. And now, three years later, the very same fandom that I poured my heart into is dragging me through the mud and accusing me of being something I’m not.

I don’t think I need to explain how much that hurts.

I’ll admit that I’ve written pretty shitty articles about JYJ in the past — and by “shitty,” I don’t mean articles that just criticize JYJ; I mean articles that were just shitty: poorly written, needlessly offensive, unfairly critical. But there was literally nothing that was directly inflammatory towards JYJ in this latest article; I made a point of making sure of it while I was writing it. The bulk of the piece wasn’t even focused on JYJ; I used Jaejoong’s solo album as a launching point because it was timely and relevant. I never even said that I disliked Jaejoong’s work. And yet you found reason to defame me — not because you disagreed with my opinion, but because you’ve already decided that even the slightest non-praise that I give JYJ is evidence of my hatred against them.

I don’t know what more I need to do to convince you that I’m not the furious anti that you think I am. To be honest, I shouldn’t have to do anything because no other sane fandom would ever attack another member of the same fandom for having a critical voice, but this has been going on for way too long and I’m not going to let you — you, who preaches to your whole fandom to ignore me because I don’t have anything “nice” to say; you, who attacked my morality for not slavishly agreeing with JYJ’s decision to sue (wtf?); you, who manages to make my life a living hell whenever I write anything about JYJ; you, who invalidates every ounce of love that I once poured into this group — I’m not going to let you define who I am.

I hope you know that your extremism is not going to do you, your fandom, or JYJ themselves any favors. If you’re going to continue alienating everyone who doesn’t think in the same way as you, your fandom is going to shrink and die. This is not a threat; this is a piece of hard truth. For the sake of my own mental health, I refuse to be associated with people who make a point of attacking me. If that means that JYJ loses a fan, then whose fault is it? I’m usually a strong advocate against the belief that a group’s crazy fans are a good enough reason to dislike the group itself, but when the fans are creating a toxic environment around anything that involves the group, how do you expect anyone to stay?

I wish I had the gall to outright declare that I’m going to stop writing about JYJ forever. But I’m not, because I’m not going to let people who don’t talk sense to dictate how I should express myself as a fan. (updated; see here) Know, though, that moving forward every word I write about JYJ will be calculated and hesitant because despite the fact that I am coming at JYJ fans with knives and daggers with this (very angsty) post, this fandom still scares me shitless. Know that while my words about JYJ may have caused you to be mildly offended on the behalf of someone you don’t even know, your poisonous comments at me have caused me significant pain and distress. Are you happy? Are you satisfied with how you’ve “protected” the boys from one of their own fans?

This is the last you’ll hear from me on this issue. I wish I could have approached you guys diplomatically and professionally about this (especially since this is on my main blog), but considering how you have treated me, you don’t deserve even that. Good day.

(And this goes without saying, but all y’all Nice JYJ Fans, this rant is not for you. Thank you for reaching out to me on those few occasions. You guys are the reason why I still write.)

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  • lady_marshmallow

    I have to admit, I was mad at You after reading the post about-You-propably-know-what (it’s begin with s and ending with g), but after what I heard about “the consequence” and the witch-hunt after, I start to realise that fans may just overreacting with protecting their idols from any criticism and opinions that different from their own, sometimes to degree that’s plain scary. I wish I wrote something comforting to You that time, but I find the courage to write now. I may not like the post You sometimes write, but for many times they make me stop and think and just look at the thinks on the different light. So, for the sake to You own personal opinion don’t give up the writing. If your post invoke discussion, it’s mean that You wasn’t afraid of picking the hard subject and putting Your own reflect in there, especialy if they didn’t match the intension of the reader. It’s a hard road You may choosing, but I hope You will keep it. As a hard die to fan of JYJ (and Jaejoong especially) I will be glad to reading Your opinion about his album. I admit I may be little afraid of that but nonetheless I’m still wishing for it.
    Keep Your head up, girl!
    (as You can see -or read- english is my second language , so sorry for mistakes)

  • At this point I’m afraid the only thing that can really be done is just let the oversensitive fans keep being offended. If they can’t handle criticism towards their idols- even when it’s completely warranted, like with last year’s saesang incident- then they are at fault for being too attached. If anything, their strong reactions and failure to refute the article’s actual content (instead resorting to unnecessary personal attacks) proves the implications about JYJ’s fandom being faithful enough to support them without objective reason. Such fans don’t deserve any hesitation or sugarcoating and I’m glad to see you standing by your opinions despite all the trouble.

  • Linh Tran

    I honestly really enjoy your writing and everything….so keep up the good work and ignore the haters

  • nice article Patricia :)

  • I saw a post before (I think it was TV Tropes) that said that the crazy fans are the minority and on the average most fans in a certain fandom are relatively sane and are just not that vocal on the internet as the crazy fans. I’m starting to think this isn’t the case with the JYJ fandom. And… that makes me very sad.

    After finding out about TVXQ, the split and everything else that came with it I had decided to support JYJ more than Yunho and Changmin because… I don’t know, it’s mind boggling even to me. Yunho and Changmin’s stuff are even cheaper, considering the fact that I have a tight grip on my wallet. But I guess the fan heart is something that isn’t so easily explained.

    The fandom that JYJ came with, however… it’s enough to turn off even a diehard fan. I don’t understand how such a collection of haters came about who all thought in the same way and who all thought that bringing people down would be a good way to bring three decent guys up. And to think that these three decent guys probably wouldn’t even like them doing this.

    There’s a knee jerk reaction that comes to reading something like your article and Netizenbuzz’s article and basically articles that say something negative about JYJ. But it made me think about the situation and I realized that if I don’t like something that JYJ did it’s perfectly alright to say something about it. It’s perfectly alright to dislike it, even. Thank you for that realization.

    Please know that I like reading your articles as it makes me (and a lot of others, I believe) realize other points of view. I’m not a good writer, so I really like reading articles such as yours because it’s like you solidified the thoughts I was having in my head and you made them make sense somehow. So thanks, and I hope you write more in the future. Don’t let the crazies get you down! ^_^

  • Jan

    Sorry to hear that you went through hell. I trust that most JYJ fans are sane, but there are always extremists. Unfortunately they make the most noise and appear to have great influence. Well…they do not. Because of JYJ’s “unique situation”, most of us are wise beyond our age, and the fandom is stronger than it appears. For newcomers…well, some will learn and some will not. It’s all cool! Don’t be scared when you write though, or it will be pointless. Speak your mind even if some may overreact. It’s their problem, not yours.

  • Haibara Christie

    Patricia, I know I’ve said this on Seoulbeats, but props to you for speaking your mind about what you love, regardless of what other fans may say. JYJ has what I call “touchy and defensive” fans, who are on the lookout to fight against absolutely anything that is ever so slightly negative under the pretense that it’s to “protect JYJ from the wrath of SM and others.” I find that to be a totally unhealthy relationship with your idol no matter what the circumstances are. JYJ does not need infinite sympathy; they have (and had) plenty of money and are living perfectly fine lives no matter what Jaejoong rants about on twitter. Those over protective fans need to stop hating everyone outside their niche group. Do you see Sone’s bashing people who say that they don’t like a song from SNSD, or deleting/banning posts/posters? No. Do Hangeng fans go around and deny that he was ever part of Super Junior and attack fans who like Super Junior and Hangeng and support the two parties as a group? No. Do VIPs go around saying that Big Bang is superior to every other group because GD writes nearly every song, and do they hate people for saying that one of his songs isn’t good? No. Only in JYJ’s fandom do you find people on the internet declaring other people as Republic of JYJ Public Enemies. Seriously, I can’t stand it–no one needs to be antagonized by a fandom. To be entirely honest, loving a group does not mean that you have to love every song and like everything they do. Part of caring about a group is taking the time to pay attention to them, whether or not your reaction to what that artist has put out is positive. I like JYJ, I don’t like every song they release, and I’m obviously not a huge fan of their fandom (the super crazies, anyway. There are sane JYJ fans.)

    TL;DR: You are awesome Patricia, and don’t let anyone (especially not JYJ fans) bring you down.

  • Gaya_SB

    You’ve probably had it the toughest out of all the SB writer, Patricia, and I’m so sad that this is continuing to happen to you. Good on you for speaking out, and keep doing what you do! We’re here for you, all the way.


  • GonzoGeisha

    I’m late to the party, but I wanted to add my two cents.

    I have been reading your blog, which coincidentally I found on JYJ3 in their old stuff from 2012. Yes, I’m one of those people who likes history, it is so much stranger than fiction. Seriously, who could make this stuff up?

    I was a fan of DBSK. Then they broke up, the world imploded, and I got sick of all the infighting and the constant tiptoeing around so many conflicting sensitivities I gave up. I kept buying the music but I avoided everything else. It just hurt too much to do anything else.

    What is it about Kpop in general and the TVXQ5, TVXQ2, JYJ mess in particular that makes being a fan so emotionally exhausting? Why am I not allowed to see the merit in all three? IDK. It’s odd.

    Revisiting this in hindsight is absolutely fascinating, dare I say entertaining, except for the moments that truly wound.

    This, I think was a wound, not just to you as a rational, well written, intelligent woman, but also to the very people these fans seek to protect. I’m sure it’s scarred over by now, two years later, but I still feel compelled to say that without constructive critique there is no growth. JYJ at this point in their history needed all the constructive feedback they could get. They still do. They always will.

    They need people, fans especially, to be honest with them. All artists do. It’s not always fun to hear, but it’s important. The video blog you linked to with the critique of Ayy Girl (which was not an awesome song and an absolutely wretched video for an American market) is a perfect example. I believe they saw it and they learned from it. I am sure that stung a little (and for Jaejoong probably a LOT) but, low and behold, they got better. Shocking.

    Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you, long after the fact, and let you know that there are other’s who share your thoughts. I could nitpick a few details here and there, but in broad strokes, you have written my mind in every piece of yours I have read. I also wanted to say I admire your ability to stick to it in spite of the pitchforks and torches.

    You are much stronger than I was.

  • aearombereth

    omg JYJ will lose a ‘fan’ like Patricia? Can we have a partayyyy!